Here are some tips to writing an obituary that is accurate, lively, and memorable.

An obituary is many things in one: a notice of a death, a story of a life, a record of the extended family, information about a funeral service, a thank you to those who helped out, a request for memorial donations.The basic information must be covered, accurately and completely. As well, an obituary can be a compelling story of a life.

Accuracy and completeness are most important. This sounds obvious, but it is not easy. Errors can slip in, names can be misspelled, dates can be wrong, information can be missed. The best way to ensure accuracy is to proofread, and then to proofread again. A good way to catch errors is to set aside a document, and then look at it another day - another reason to plan ahead so that you have the time to do it right. If you are writing on a memorial on Friends At Rest then you can log in and edit the memorial details at any time. You can work on your obituary over a number of days or even weeks.

The complete details are important, including the date of birth, middle names, and maiden names of married women if known. These details are also useful for family and community archival and genealogical uses. However, in this day and age, one must also be aware of identity theft and careful not to divulge too much information. Being prudent is obviously in order, and everyone will have to find their own balance between completeness and caution.

Summing up a life is an awesome responsibility. An obituary can be interesting and compelling - especially if it focuses more on the life lived than on the notice of the death. An obituary can help those in the family and other people know more about one of their own members, themselves, and the community in general.

For many people, their obituary may be just about the only thing that is ever written about them in their whole life and death. The obituary can be the defining statement about that person for the family, friends, and community. An obituary can be read now, and saved for generations. All the more reason to make it lively and significant.

Obituary Writing Tips are:

* Research your newspaper. If you are writing for your local newspaper, find out about the particular format, possibility for a free listing, and prices if you have to pay. Format, procedure, and price vary from place to place.

* Be aware of identity theft.

* Strike a balance between life and death. Make your work not only a basic notice of the death, but also a compelling story of a life lived.

* Focus on the deceased, not the obituary's authors. Do not start with "the family announces . . ." and do not refer to the deceased, for example, as "Mom" or "Dad." Describe the deceased as an individual, in the third person.

* Decide how many family members to include. This includes the number of “predeceased by.” How many generations do you want to go back? Grandparents – be careful about just naming the ones that the deceased personally knew and forgetting the others. Step-families? Uncles and Aunts? (Be careful about naming just some and not others, unless you are intentionally selecting some members of the family.)

* Show, rather than tell. Show characteristics rather than listing facts. Show that the person was charitable by actual examples, rather than just saying he was "charitable." Show with interesting stories, rather than telling with just dry facts.

* Think of three words. Find three words that sum up the life lived. These words could be at the end of the obituary and also used elsewhere, such as at the funeral or epitaph at the grave.

* Consider writing several versions. For example: a short one for a paid classified ad, a longer one for background to the eulogy at a service, and an even longer one for family scrapbook, history, or for an online memorial website such as this one. Length for newspaper, in words: could be about 150 to 500 words; a life story could be much longer.

* Revise and edit. As with any writing, revising improves the final product. This process not only spots errors, but also improves the style. An excellent way to see ways to improve any effort, is to set it aside for a few days, then look at it with fresh eyes, your own and someone else's. All the more reason to prepare something ahead of time, instead of rushing between the death and the funeral.

* Proofread. Then proofread again.